Q. I’d be curious to get your take on 1 Corinthians 5:11, “You must not associate with people who claim to be believers but continue to live in sin. Don’t even eat with a believer who sins sexually, is greedy, worships idols, abuses others with insults, gets drunk, or cheats people.” For example, we know many people (including family members) who claim to be Christian but don’t seem to think that it affects how they should live on almost any level. Does that verse teach that we should no longer associate with them, at all and if so, should we first confront them in love over their behavior (and/or lack of understanding) or simply avoid them moving forward?
The context of the teaching you’re asking about is church discipline. It’s addressed to the community and it’s telling the community to deny the recognition of fellowship, specifically table fellowship at the Lord’s Supper (“do not even eat with”), to those who are living scandalously (i.e. openly) in a way that dishonors Jesus. It’s not speaking to individual believers about how they should relate to their own family members.
Given that, I think a passage such as 1 Corinthians 7:12–16 would be more relevant, by analogy. Just as a believing spouse should remain in relationship with an unbelieving spouse, expecting to influence them, unless the unbeliever breaks off the relationship, so a believing relative should remain in relationship with an unbelieving relative, or one who’s a believer but whose lifestyle is dishonoring to Jesus, expecting to influence them (though not joining in any of the dishonoring activities), unless they break off the relationship. In other words, we shouldn’t tell our earthly family members that they’re not our family in the way that the community of believers can tell someone that they’re not acting like “one of the family” and they’d better change their ways if they want continued recognition as such.
There’s a difference between family and friends. You have a relationship with your family member simply because you were born into it, so the premise is that you maintain an “open door” relationship unless they are so exploitive, inconsiderate, or manipulative that you need to create some distance for your own protection and that of your household. The premise is the opposite with a friend: This is a relationship that you’re positively choosing, and it’s fair for people to assume that you’re maintaining it based on shared values and perspectives. So if your friend is patently living in a way that doesn’t honor Christ, then that does reflect on you and your testimony. You need to do something to send the message that this isn’t how you understand following Christ, even if it means putting some distance between yourself and a former close friend.
Good Question 