How can I have a closer relationship with God as a Christian?

Q. How can I have a closer relationship with God as a Christian?

I think the principles that apply generally to having good relationships with people also apply to having a good relationship with God. You describe yourself as a Christian and so I take it that you are already aware of having a relationship with God through Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. But you have asked about having a closer relationship, so let me share some thoughts about that.

First, I would say that it is important to spend time with God. Time spent together is the oxygen that relationships need to breathe. Without it, they suffocate. That is why, when spouses, friends, parents and children, etc. are separated temporarily, they make it a priority to speak regularly on the phone or by video chat, to stay in touch by email or text message, etc. People who are in close relationships and who want those relationships to remain close know that they need to invest time in them.

So, think about how you spend time with God. Put another way, when do you feel that you are in God’s presence, or that you are experiencing God? For some people, this happens during times of prayer, meditation, silence, solitude, and simplicity. By quieting all other voices, they hear the voice of God. Something similar happens for other people when they read Scripture or valuable books. For still other people, spending time with God happens when they are out in nature. They experience God in and through his creation. For others, this comes during times of service. Jesus, speaking of helping people in need, caring for the sick, showing hospitality, and visiting people who are lonely, said, “As you have done it for the least of these, you have done it for me.” In such experiences, some people say, “God, I can’t do this for you personally, but I’m going to do it for this other person as if it were you.” And in those circumstances, they feel, experientially, that they are doing something loving directly for God.

Each person’s experience will be different. There may be as many different ways of “spending time with God” as there are people. The key is to recognize what your way is and to be diligent in investing in it. It has been well said that time together with people who are important to us doesn’t happen by accident. We need to be intentional about making it happen.

A second way to invest in having a good relationship with a person is to do what that person likes, not what the person does not like. A simple illustration is this: If you are the person who prepares the meals in your house and you know what meals the others in the house like and do not like, you show your courtesy and appreciation for them by making meals that they do like. By being attentive to their tastes and preferences, you demonstrate that you value them as people. This also shows that, to the extent that it depends on you, you want them to be happy and enjoying life. This is all a very good “ante” for a good relationship with a person.

A specific and important component of this consideration is that if we want to have a good relationship with a person, we will not intentionally do anything that is harmful, hurtful, or demeaning to that person. That actually sends the message that we do not value them and that the quality of our relationship with them is not important to us.

So what are the things that God likes and does not like? We cannot answer this question in terms of favorite meals or pastimes. But we can recall what God said through the prophet Micah: “O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” If we do what we know is right, if we show generosity and compassion, if we cultivate humility, then we are investing in our relationship with God by doing what God likes. There is a wonderful promise in Psalm 25: “The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him.” In this context, “fear” refers to not daring to do anything that we know would be displeasing to God. We can see that investing in a relationship with God in this way leads to the “friendship” that we desire.

I would like to mention a third thing as well. It is actually inspired by a line from the movie Chariots of Fire, although I believe there is also a biblical basis for it. In that movie, the character of Eric Liddell is explaining why, though he ultimately intends to become a missionary to China, he has been spending time training for the Olympics. He says, “God made me for China, but he also made me fast. And when I run, I feel his pleasure.” While the Bible describes our relationship with God in many ways, including child to parent and (as we have just seen) friend to friend, the Bible initially describes the relationship as creature to Creator. And we must recognize how much joy it gives a person who creates something to see it becoming all that it was created to be. A limited analogy might be that of an inventor whose invention finally works, or of a programmer who finally gets some software up and running and discovers that it works better than could have been imagined.

So, my last observation about how to cultivate a good relationship with God would be this: Be yourself. In other words, do all that you can to discern why God put you on this planet, and then fulfill that destiny. I think that when you do that (necessarily starting with an initial understanding and accomplishment, but then to an ever-increasing extent), you will feel God’s pleasure. And that is another sure sign of a good relationship.

What kinds of miracles did Jesus do, and what do they indicate about him?

Q. What were some of the miracles Jesus did, and how should we categorize them (e.g. nature miracles, healing miracles, etc.)? Also, what do these miracles indicate about Jesus? Do they help prove that Jesus is God?

The largest number of miracles that Jesus did were miracles of healing. He enabled people who were blind to see; he enabled people who could not hear to hear and speak. It is recorded that he cured people of fevers, of leprosy, of bleeding disorders, and of diseases that caused muscle weakness or paralysis. Jesus empowered his disciples to do similar miracles of healing, and he told them that when they did, they should declare that the kingdom of God was coming near. So these miracles of healing indicate that Jesus was bringing the kingdom of God, and that in God’s kingdom (that is, when and where things are done as God wishes), there is restoration and health. In other words, these miracles showed that God wants those things for people. We are not there yet, but the kingdom is coming (even as it has already arrived in a sense), and as we work to promote these same things, we declare our faith in what God wants people to experience, and we do our part toward that end now.

Jesus also delivered many people from demon oppression. The gospels clearly distinguish between demon oppression and illness. They do not reflect a belief that all illness comes from evil spirits. Through these miracles, Jesus demonstrated that he had come to bring liberty to those who were held captive, as he said about himself in a sermon in the synagogue in Nazareth at the start of his ministry. I think that we today could extend this principle to include other types of “captivity,” such as addiction, depression, abuse, human trafficking, etc. Jesus showed us that God wants people to be free from all such oppression, and the miracles he did invite us to join in his work of bringing freedom.

Jesus, as you noted, also did “nature miracles.” In what we might call a “negative” sense, he calmed a raging storm at sea, made a fig tree wither, passed unnoticed through a crowd, and appeared inside a locked room. “Positively,” he fed thousands of people from small quantities of food, turned water into wine, enabled the disciples to make huge catches of fish, and even directed Peter to find a coin in a fish’s mouth that would pay the taxes for the two of them. These miracles show that God wants people to be safe and well provided for, and once again they invite us to join in working for the same things.

Jesus even raised people from the dead, and he rose from the dead himself. These might be considered miracles of healing, or nature miracles, or miracles in a class of their own. But they show us that death is not final, and so even though we grieve when we lose loved ones, “we do not grieve as those who have no hope,” as the Bible tells us elsewhere. These resurrection miracles also show that God’s power is even greater than the ultimate enemy that we humans must all ultimately face and that we can never conquer on our own: death itself.

So do these miracles, and especially the resurrection miracles, prove that Jesus is God? I would say that that is actually something that cannot be “proved.” It is something that we must recognize and believe by faith. Moreover, as I say in this post, Jesus was actually able to do miracles on earth not because he was God and therefore all-powerful, but because he was completely yielded to his heavenly Father and so was a perfect conduit of divine power. (As that post discusses, Jesus gave up certain divine attributes, including omnipotence, when he “emptied himself” and became human.) So the miracles that Jesus did do not prove that he is God. However, they should certainly make us ask, as people did in Jesus’ own time, for example, “Who is this, that even the wind and the waves obey him?” That question can lead us, by faith, to recognize and believe that Jesus truly is God.

As Christians, what should our relationship be with the Law?

Q. Jesus repeated that we are to follow His ways and obey God. Jesus’ law and ways were largely found in the OT and the Torah. As Christians today, what is our relationship to be with the law as it is written out in the Torah? Are we to follow it—not to put our hopes of salvation in it, but as a means of obeying Jesus?

The apostle Paul wrote much in his letters about how Christians are to relate to the Law. He said, for one thing, that “the law is good if one uses it properly.” Paul made clear in many of his letters, as you say yourself, that we are not to look to the Law as a means of salvation. That is, we are not to try to become or remain acceptable to God by following the rules in the Law. So how are we to use the Law “properly”?

I would say that the Law has a role for the Christian in both teaching and restraint. Simply stated, the Law teaches us what is and is not in keeping with God’s intentions for human life; knowing that can keep us from doing things that are contrary to the Law. As a pastor, I sometimes had the occasion to ask people who were considering a particular course of action, “Would it make a difference to you to recognize that this would be breaking one of the Ten Commandments?”

The Law, however, is not able to give us the power to do what it commands. As Paul also makes clear in his letters, it is the Holy Spirit who must give us that power. And once the Holy Spirit is living inside us and transforming us (as is the case with everyone who has genuinely trusted in Jesus for salvation), then we can concentrate on positively doing things “against which there is no law,” as Paul writes in Galatians, rather than on negatively avoiding things that are against the Law.

Those things against which there is no law are the “fruit of the Spirit,” the character qualities that God wants to build into our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Jesus is our example of living out these qualities, and the Holy Spirit inside us encourages us to grow into them. Instead of asking “what rules should govern my conduct here?” we ask “how can I show love here?” or “how can I remain joyful in this situation?”

If we consistently do the things against which there is no law, we will never be breaking the Law; instead, we will be keeping it in its truest sense. The ideal is to reach the place that St. Augustine once described: “Love God, and do what you will.” In other words, nothing that is contrary to God’s wishes will ever proceed from a deep and genuine love for God. The more we grow in our love for God, the more we can act freely and spontaneously as his child, not checking our actions against a set of rules but simply doing what we know will bring him joy.

Why are Cain and Abel not listed in the “generations of Adam”?

Q. In Genesis 5, why are Cain and Abel not listed in the “Generations of Adam”?

The genealogy that the book of Genesis describes as the “Generations of Adam” is not intended to list all of his descendants. Rather, it traces one line of his descent, the one that leads to Noah, who becomes the main character in the narrative right after this genealogy. After the story of Noah, there is another genealogy, the “Generations of Shem” (Noah’s son), which traces one line of his descent, the one that leads to Abraham, who who becomes the main character in the narrative right after it. And so forth. That is how the book of Genesis is structured. I hope this explanation is helpful.

How are Muslims and Christians related to Ishmael and Isaac?

Q. Good day to you. I am just curious. Are Muslims/Arabs the descendants of Ishmael, while the Christian Church is the descendants of Isaac? Did God promise kings and princes under the race of Isaac only? Is the division of Muslims and Christians because Sarah didn’t believe right away that she can have a child? Thank you for answering these questions. Thank you and God bless you.

Thank you for your question. We should distinguish between people of a specific faith and people with a specific ancestry. While Arabs traditionally trace their ancestry back to Ishmael, a person can be a Muslim without being an Arab, and a person can be an Arab without being a Muslim. There are, in fact, Arab communities that have been Christian for many centuries. Similarly, while Jesus Christ was descended from Isaac, a person can be a descendant of Isaac without being a Christian, and a person can be a Christian without being a descendant of Isaac.

God did not promise specifically that there would be kings and princes in the race of Isaac. Rather, God renewed to Isaac the promise he had made to his father Abraham, that through his “seed,” all nations on earth would be blessed. The initial meaning of the word “seed” in this promise is “descendants,” but Christian interpreters in the New Testament understand it as a reference to one particular descendant, Jesus Christ, whom they believe brought blessing to all nations when he came to earth as the Savior of all who would put their faith in him. So we may expect that there will be kings and princes in many different races of humanity.

Since it is not the case that Muslims in general are descendants of Ishmael and that Christians in general are descendants of Isaac, we should not see the division between them as the result of Abraham first having a child, Ishmael, through his concubine Hagar and then having another child, Isaac, through his wife Sarah. That would be the origins of an ethnic rivalry, not a religious division. However, we should note that while there was some rivalry between Ishmael and Isaac while they were growing up, they seem to have reconciled by the time they were adults. The Bible records that when Abraham died, “His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him.” This gives us hope that any ethnic rivalry between the descendants of these two sons of Abraham can similarly be resolved and the groups reconciled.

We can also hope that the same will be true of the religious division between Christians and Muslims. I do respect Islam as a great historic religion that, when followed in its true spirit, leads its followers to live good lives. Beyond that, as a Christian, I want my Muslim friends to meet my friend Jesus. The Quran describes Jesus as a great prophet and miracle-worker and even calls him the Messiah. So my hope is that my Muslim friends will want to find out more about who Jesus is and what he has done. This can and should be a matter of dialogue, not division, between Muslims and Christians.

How can I fully believe and not doubt?

Q. Please help! I have struggled so hard to believe. I have begged God to take away my doubt and give me the faith and belief in him that He desires. I have done all of this with a truly sincere heart and I have asked all of this in Jesus’ name. Yet no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I pray and beg God to take away my doubts, I just can’t fully believe.

I hope it will help you to hear that believing fully does not mean having no doubts.

The capacity for faith and the capacity for doubt are the same. If you did not have any doubts about what you believe, you would not be believing it by faith.

Faith is the reasonable belief in something that we cannot prove. Because we cannot prove it, there will always be some doubt about it. But that does not mean that it is not true or that it is not a reasonable thing to believe.

So please stop tormenting yourself for having doubts. They come with the territory of being a Christian. All believers have them. As we grow in our faith, more and more of our doubts are resolved. We come steadily to have more faith and less doubt. But this is a process—a natural process—and we can’t rush it. But that’s okay with God. He knows that we humans are finite and need to grow into our faith.

Here’s how I know that this is okay with God. The gospels record how a man asked Jesus to heal his child: “If you can do anything, help us,” the man said. “‘If you can’?” Jesus responded. “All things are possible for one who believes.” The man replied, “I believe; help my unbelief!” Jesus did not rebuke him and say, “Well, if you really believed, without any unbelief, I would help you, but since you have doubts, you don’t really believe, and so all things are not possible for you.” Instead, recognizing that the man had genuine faith, even though it was still mixed with doubt, Jesus healed the man’s child.

Some ancient manuscripts say that this man “cried out with tears” when he told Jesus that he believed but needed help with his unbelief. Certainly it was very distressing to him to think that he might not believe fully enough for his child to be healed. But Jesus treated him with kindness, mercy, and compassion. And Jesus regards you in the same way that he regarded this man. He does not condemn you. He sympathizes with you and will walk with you on the path to greater and greater faith. Please show yourself the same kindness that Jesus is showing you. Thank you.

Are Christians supposed to love even the Antichrist?

Q. Christians are supposed to love everyone, but would that include even the Antichrist mentioned in the book of Revelation? Are Christians supposed to pray for the salvation of everyone, including the Antichrist? Does God love or hate the Antichrist?

I think the answer to your question lies in our understanding of the terms “love” and “hate.” It has been well said that, in a biblical sense, “love is not a feeling, it is a commitment.” Specifically, it is a commitment to act consistently in the best interests of another person.

Conversely, but in a complementary way, in a biblical sense, “hatred is not a commitment, it is a feeling.” As I say in this post, godly hatred is “that feeling of strong antipathy towards anything dishonoring to God that makes us want to have nothing to do with wrongdoing and not join in with wrongdoers. … But if instead we are ‘out to get’ somebody, that is, if we are committed to acting consistently contrary to their best interests, then this is not really ‘hatred’ in the sense that the godly psalmists use the term. It is instead bitterness or vengefulness—something we cannot in good conscience indulge.”

So to speak in light of this to your question, I would say that Christians should not harbor bitter, vengeful feelings even towards the Antichrist. In the best interests of that person, we would still need to oppose his efforts to destroy the worship of Jesus on earth. For his own sake, we would need to try to keep him from doing such a thing that was so opposed to God. (And for the sake of our own Christ-likeness, we should not be bitter or vengeful either.) At the same time, we would need to recognize that the Antichrist had made a series of choices that had led him to become the arch-enemy of Jesus, and that should fill us with a strong antipathy that would make us want to have nothing to do with him or his purposes.

While God knows what is in the depths of the hearts of people, other human beings don’t. Christians have various understandings of how the prophecies in the Bible about the end times will be fulfilled. But suppose, for the sake of discussion, that there were believers alive on earth during the time of the Antichrist. I’m not sure they they would know definitively that this was indeed the Antichrist. For all they knew, with prayer and sacrificial love, this person might turn from the path of opposing Christ. So I would say that, given the limitations of our knowledge as finite humans, we can’t really ever give up on anybody. We should pray for the salvation of everyone, knowing that “God is not willing that any should perish, but wants all to come to repentance.”

We also need to recognize, however, that God has given people the freedom to make moral choices, and that a long series of wrong moral choices may lead a person to the place where he or she becomes definitively opposed to God. But that is something we would recognize only in principle. In the case of any given person, we could not know whether they had reached that point. So we pray with realism but also with hope.

I would say that God loves the Antichrist in the biblical sense I have described: always wanting what would have been the best for him, always wishing that he had made different moral choices. And I would say that God hates the Antichrist in the biblical sense I have described: not wanting to have anything to do with someone who opposes love, peace, and justice to the extent of oppressing people cruelly and even trying to exterminate the worship of his beloved Son.

What made Lucifer turn away from God?

Q. What made Lucifer turn away from God?

There are two passages in the Bible that are addressed, in the first instance, to pagan kings, but in which many interpreters see a further reference to Lucifer (the “light-bearer”), the angel who has now become known as Satan (“the accuser” or “the adversary”).

One passage is in Isaiah, and it is a “taunt against the king of Babylon”:

How you have fallen from heaven,
    morning star, son of the dawn!
You have been cast down to the earth,
    you who once laid low the nations!
You said in your heart,
    “I will ascend to the heavens;
I will raise my throne
    above the stars of God;
I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly,
    on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon.
I will ascend above the tops of the clouds;
    I will make myself like the Most High.”
But you are brought down to the realm of the dead,
    to the depths of the pit.

The second passage is in Ezekiel, and it is a “lament concerning the king of Tyre”:

“‘You were the seal of perfection,
    full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.
You were in Eden,
    the garden of God;
every precious stone adorned you:
    carnelian, chrysolite and emerald,
    topaz, onyx and jasper,
    lapis lazuli, turquoise and beryl.
Your settings and mountings were made of gold;
    on the day you were created they were prepared.
You were anointed as a guardian cherub,
    for so I ordained you.
You were on the holy mount of God;
    you walked among the fiery stones.
You were blameless in your ways
    from the day you were created
    till wickedness was found in you.
Through your widespread trade
    you were filled with violence,
    and you sinned.
So I drove you in disgrace from the mount of God,
    and I expelled you, guardian cherub,
    from among the fiery stones.
Your heart became proud
    on account of your beauty,
and you corrupted your wisdom
    because of your splendor.
So I threw you to the earth;
    I made a spectacle of you before kings.

I agree with the interpreters who caution that these passages should be understood, in the first instance, in their original context, as references to pagan kings whom God is going to judge. However, the prophets announce these judgments through what might be called an extended metaphor. They draw a series of comparisons between these kings and the “morning star, son of the dawn,” the “guardian cherub.” This means some mighty angel who fell from a glorious state into ruin, just as these kings are going to do. The description of this angel’s rebellion and judgment fits what is said about Satan in the rest of the Bible.

So we can infer from these passages—I am convinced this is a legitimate use of them—that the angel formerly known as Lucifer turned away from God because of pride. He did not regard his created power and beauty as gifts from God to be used in the grateful service of God. Rather, he thought that because he was so powerful and beautiful, that meant he was like God or even greater than God, and he rebelled to try to take the throne of the universe away from God. But his power was created and so finite, meaning that it was inconsequential compared with God’s infinite power. God effortlessly crushed his rebellion and expelled him from his former position. For reasons that we do not fully understand (which I discuss in various other posts), God has allowed this being, now known as Satan, to continue to exist and to have some freedom of operation. But we know from the Scriptures that in the end God will judge and punish him definitively.

In the meantime, the example of Lucifer is a clear warning to all of us. Ideally we will all become aware of the talents and capabilities that God has built into our lives. It is important to know how God has gifted us so that we can concentrate on serving him with those gifts and not try to do something else at which we would be less effective. But our mindset must be, as Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” We should see all of our abilities as gifts from God to be used in grateful service to him.

So, the short answer to your question, “What made Lucifer turn away from God?” is: “Pride.” This raises a further question: How can we escape the dangers of pride, which clearly are very great? Through the humility that comes from gratitude. Whenever we become aware of any capability, whenever we achieve any success, we should say, “Thank you, God, for this gift. Please enable me to use it humbly and gratefully in service to you.”

Is it all right to read the book of Enoch?

Q. The Nephilim, or the offspring of fallen angels and humans, mentioned in Genesis and 1 Enoch are very confusing to me. Are these so-called giants actually real, like Og, the king of Bashan, or are stories like Enoch similar to modern day fan-fictions or spin-offs? I am reading Enoch currently and it is deeply spiritual and I hope so much that it holds water like the rest of the Bible. Why was Enoch and other gnostic gospels and apocrypha considered heresy, and would it be harmful for my faith to read these, as they may not be God’s word? Would God want me to read these ancient texts? Are they intended to be taken literally?

Regarding the identify of the Nephilim, please see this post:

Who were the Nephilim?

Regarding reading 1 Enoch and similar books, please see this post:

Why were some books removed from the Bible and is it a sin to read them?

In that post, I say, “If you belong to a community of Christians, and if this issue is important within that community, you could explain to anyone you told about reading these books that you were not reading them as Scripture, but as edifying literature that has come down to us from within the tradition of our faith. I hope no one would be upset about that.”

I might note that while 1 Enoch is not part of the apocrypha, so it is not found within the Bible that Catholic, Anglican, and Orthodox Christians read (which has a few more books than the Bible that Protestant Christians read) it is accepted as canonical by one Christian communion, the Church of Ethiopia. For more information about these differences, see this post:

Do different Christian communities really consider different books Scriptural?