Author: Christopher R Smith

Q. What does the Bible say about decision-making?

One of the most significant things the Bible says about this is that when we have an important decision to make, we should seek the counsel and advice of wise friends. “In a multitude of counselors there is safety.” The Bible teaches us that all of us, as individual people, are limited in our knowledge, experience, and perspective. We need others to help us see things from further perspectives; to consider things we would not have considered otherwise; and to learn from the experiences, both good and bad, that others have had as a result of the decisions they have made in comparable situations.

I think that if we went to people and said, “I have an important decision to make and I’d like to ask your advice about it,” the kind of people whose counsel would be valuable would be very happy to listen and help. So think about who those people are in your life.

But those whose counsel we are to consider include not only those who are alive with us today but also those who have gone before us. “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”

“Ask the former generation
    and find out what their ancestors learned,
for we were born only yesterday and know nothing,
    and our days on earth are but a shadow.
Will they not instruct you and tell you?
    Will they not bring forth words from their understanding?”

The Bible itself is a repository of the ancient wisdom of godly people, and so reading and studying it regularly puts this type of counsel at our disposal.

It is important to stress that our counselors and advisors must be godly people. “Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.” Here and in many similar contexts, the Bible uses the word “fool” to mean not someone who lacks intelligence or education, but someone who lives without regard for God. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” The word “fear,” for its part, refers not to being afraid of God, but to not daring to do anything that we know God would disapprove of. “Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to turn away from evil is understanding.” “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding.”

This all points to a second significant thing that the Bible teaches us about decision-making. Often we face a decision between two courses of action; one of which seems like a shortcut or expedient, but involves some sense of moral compromise, while the other seems longer and more difficult, but also has a clean, honest feel to it. In such cases, we should always choose the latter option. I recall a conversation in which a friend brought up a decision that she needed to make. One person there suggested that she could expedite the process in view by saying a certain thing that didn’t happen to be true. “But that would be lying,” I observed. “Well,” this person responded, “if you’re not prepared to help yourself out like that, then I guess you’ll have to take the long way around.” This friend did take “the long way around,” and she was much better off for doing so.

Sometimes “making a decision” is actually a matter of seeking and receiving guidance from God. We come to a crossroads, and there is a specific road that God wants us to take forward. In such situations, understanding God’s guidance is, as I say in this post, typically the result of a convergence of factors: “the teaching of Scripture, the advice of trusted counselors, the inner witness of the Holy Spirit, what the circumstances permit, the God-given desires of our hearts, etc.” (We might also mention other factors such as whether we have peace about a possible path and whether pursuing it would require faith.)

But at other times, “making a decision” means determining what a wise course of action would be in a situation where God is not necessarily guiding us forward in one direction or another. We just need to make a wise choice about our present circumstances. In such cases, what I have said about cultivating godly wisdom and seeking godly advice would certainly apply.

And there is a third possibility: In many circumstances, we may simply be free to make a choice. I believe that God loves to see his creatures develop into their fullness. Parents, by analogy, don’t want to have to keep telling their children what to do; they want them to develop into mature individuals who can make good choices for themselves. At a certain point, for example, parents stop dressing their children and instead have them decide what to wear each day.

I think it’s the same thing with God. Suppose you are going to host some friends for dinner. I’m not sure that God would ordinarily send you divine guidance from heaven about what to serve. I think God would be delighted to see you plan a great meal and pull it off. I do think that in such circumstances, we could ask God to help us have good ideas. But in the end, we will probably feel, with gratitude to God, that that was just what happened: We had a good idea.

Q. How can I have a closer relationship with God as a Christian?

I think the principles that apply generally to having good relationships with people also apply to having a good relationship with God. You describe yourself as a Christian and so I take it that you are already aware of having a relationship with God through Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. But you have asked about having a closer relationship, so let me share some thoughts about that.

First, I would say that it is important to spend time with God. Time spent together is the oxygen that relationships need to breathe. Without it, they suffocate. That is why, when spouses, friends, parents and children, etc. are separated temporarily, they make it a priority to speak regularly on the phone or by video chat, to stay in touch by email or text message, etc. People who are in close relationships and who want those relationships to remain close know that they need to invest time in them.

So, think about how you spend time with God. Put another way, when do you feel that you are in God’s presence, or that you are experiencing God? For some people, this happens during times of prayer, meditation, silence, solitude, and simplicity. By quieting all other voices, they hear the voice of God. Something similar happens for other people when they read Scripture or valuable books. For still other people, spending time with God happens when they are out in nature. They experience God in and through his creation. For others, this comes during times of service. Jesus, speaking of helping people in need, caring for the sick, showing hospitality, and visiting people who are lonely, said, “As you have done it for the least of these, you have done it for me.” In such experiences, some people say, “God, I can’t do this for you personally, but I’m going to do it for this other person as if it were you.” And in those circumstances, they feel, experientially, that they are doing something loving directly for God.

Each person’s experience will be different. There may be as many different ways of “spending time with God” as there are people. The key is to recognize what your way is and to be diligent in investing in it. It has been well said that time together with people who are important to us doesn’t happen by accident. We need to be intentional about making it happen.

A second way to invest in having a good relationship with a person is to do what that person likes, not what the person does not like. A simple illustration is this: If you are the person who prepares the meals in your house and you know what meals the others in the house like and do not like, you show your courtesy and appreciation for them by making meals that they do like. By being attentive to their tastes and preferences, you demonstrate that you value them as people. This also shows that, to the extent that it depends on you, you want them to be happy and enjoying life. This is all a very good “ante” for a good relationship with a person.

A specific and important component of this consideration is that if we want to have a good relationship with a person, we will not intentionally do anything that is harmful, hurtful, or demeaning to that person. That actually sends the message that we do not value them and that the quality of our relationship with them is not important to us.

So what are the things that God likes and does not like? We cannot answer this question in terms of favorite meals or pastimes. But we can recall what God said through the prophet Micah: “O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” If we do what we know is right, if we show generosity and compassion, if we cultivate humility, then we are investing in our relationship with God by doing what God likes. There is a wonderful promise in Psalm 25: “The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him.” In this context, “fear” refers to not daring to do anything that we know would be displeasing to God. We can see that investing in a relationship with God in this way leads to the “friendship” that we desire.

I would like to mention a third thing as well. It is actually inspired by a line from the movie Chariots of Fire, although I believe there is also a biblical basis for it. In that movie, the character of Eric Liddell is explaining why, though he ultimately intends to become a missionary to China, he has been spending time training for the Olympics. He says, “God made me for China, but he also made me fast. And when I run, I feel his pleasure.” While the Bible describes our relationship with God in many ways, including child to parent and (as we have just seen) friend to friend, the Bible initially describes the relationship as creature to Creator. And we must recognize how much joy it gives a person who creates something to see it becoming all that it was created to be. A limited analogy might be that of an inventor whose invention finally works, or of a programmer who finally gets some software up and running and discovers that it works better than could have been imagined.

So, my last observation about how to cultivate a good relationship with God would be this: Be yourself. In other words, do all that you can to discern why God put you on this planet, and then fulfill that destiny. I think that when you do that (necessarily starting with an initial understanding and accomplishment, but then to an ever-increasing extent), you will feel God’s pleasure. And that is another sure sign of a good relationship.

Q. Jesus repeated that we are to follow His ways and obey God. Jesus’ law and ways were largely found in the OT and the Torah. As Christians today, what is our relationship to be with the law as it is written out in the Torah? Are we to follow it—not to put our hopes of salvation in it, but as a means of obeying Jesus?

The apostle Paul wrote much in his letters about how Christians are to relate to the Law. He said, for one thing, that “the law is good if one uses it properly.” Paul made clear in many of his letters, as you say yourself, that we are not to look to the Law as a means of salvation. That is, we are not to try to become or remain acceptable to God by following the rules in the Law. So how are we to use the Law “properly”?

I would say that the Law has a role for the Christian in both teaching and restraint. Simply stated, the Law teaches us what is and is not in keeping with God’s intentions for human life; knowing that can keep us from doing things that are contrary to the Law. As a pastor, I sometimes had the occasion to ask people who were considering a particular course of action, “Would it make a difference to you to recognize that this would be breaking one of the Ten Commandments?”

The Law, however, is not able to give us the power to do what it commands. As Paul also makes clear in his letters, it is the Holy Spirit who must give us that power. And once the Holy Spirit is living inside us and transforming us (as is the case with everyone who has genuinely trusted in Jesus for salvation), then we can concentrate on positively doing things “against which there is no law,” as Paul writes in Galatians, rather than on negatively avoiding things that are against the Law.

Those things against which there is no law are the “fruit of the Spirit,” the character qualities that God wants to build into our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Jesus is our example of living out these qualities, and the Holy Spirit inside us encourages us to grow into them. Instead of asking “what rules should govern my conduct here?” we ask “how can I show love here?” or “how can I remain joyful in this situation?”

If we consistently do the things against which there is no law, we will never be breaking the Law; instead, we will be keeping it in its truest sense. The ideal is to reach the place that St. Augustine once described: “Love God, and do what you will.” In other words, nothing that is contrary to God’s wishes will ever proceed from a deep and genuine love for God. The more we grow in our love for God, the more we can act freely and spontaneously as his child, not checking our actions against a set of rules but simply doing what we know will bring him joy.